I cannot believe I am typing this……..censorship advised.
I will just say that I have entered into the realm of the Friedman. Mike has had a chronic fasciculitis problem (saddle sores) over the last year or so and as of lately I have had a similar but much less sever problem. Mike and I have become very close, way closer than many team-mates ever become or should become……totally platonic though! So Mike has had to have 3 cortisone shots into his problem area just to make it through this insane season and I too have had to step up to the needle. (this is totally legal and has no performance enhancement what so ever….well except for the fact that it enables us to actually sit on the saddle with out having extreme amounts of pain, so you could say that it does effect performance because we are actually able to sit on our bikes and pedal). So today we both took our taints to the next level. Enter George Hertner M.D. who is actually an ER Doc that does a little Laser Hair Removal on the side….uh ya I said Laser Hair Removal! The good thing is George is another elite racer, so he understands the problem we have. Saddle sores can be formed from ingrown hairs that become chronic and horribly inflamed, which leads to the term saddle sore. Well if one does not have the hair down there, well then there is a lesser percentage chance that a saddle sore will form.
So Mike and I sign up. Oh man this was quite strange, a laser to the taint?? Huh, it feels kind of like a tattoo? Huh, oh not as bad as a tattoo?? Huh?
I will say that Friedman squirmed like a little girl, started to sweat profusely, fogged over the safety laser glass he wore, caused George to laugh so hard that Mike will most likely be Zebra stripped down there until our next treatment(it takes 4 to 5), and I could hardly breath it was sooo funny. This was good and bad for me, because it was so funny, but it also made me a little worried about how painful it really is. Well it was not comfortable, but not as horrible as Mike made it seem. Ya Mike and I watched each other get our taints laser’d, strange….yes, memorable…yes, hilarious…yes, homosexual experience….NO. This seriously could be the magic solution that many other cyclist all over the world just might need. Several Dermatologist have stated that they feel that this could be a solution to the painful problem. So if anybody needs some advice on the issue or would like to make an appointment with George, Friedman and I have his number.
WOW, what a crazy two days I have had. Oh, Mike and I were able to go out not just an hour after having the treatment and put in some hard efforts on the track bikes, which usually cause the worst of taint abuse.
September 21st, 2006 at 10:58 pm
uhm, that’s making me uncomfortable.
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:59 am
Can’t you just shave down there?
September 22nd, 2006 at 9:13 am
Did it smell of burning flesh and hair?
September 22nd, 2006 at 1:20 pm
NO YOU CANNOT SHAVE DOWN THERE
September 22nd, 2006 at 2:01 pm
wow. I thought waxing was bad.
September 22nd, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Where are the photos?
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:39 pm
Mike knows about the shaving thing too. Just ask him. There is an even funnier story of how he tried to prepare for a date with a girl and decided to take the razor down below for some forest controll. Maybe thats where the saddle sore problem came from.
September 23rd, 2006 at 6:47 am
thats f&%#ed man, if your saddle sores are that bad you should just quit riding, it’d make it alot easier for everyone else.
September 24th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
This was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. But asking for photos Doug? Be careful what you wish for…!
September 24th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Or they can try something new in order to keep riding to make everyone else have an uneasy day
September 24th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Do not even think you might want to learn this type of hair control. Please let a professional take care of it! Not even if you watched your mother cut hair, and you thinkyou could do it.
October 4th, 2006 at 11:40 am
I have waxed down there before, and it helped tremendously. If you think of it, send me an email (aflenner - mac.com) next time you go to LA for a track race. I like to see you suffer.