You’ve got the wrong guy/guys!
So USADA has tested me 5 times in the last month, but what is even more impressive is that the two weeks after and counting Pro Crit Nat’s I was tested 4 times in the two week period. Then this morning I am woken up to the lovely USADA team. Don’t get me wrong, USADA is doing the right thing, but come on don’t you guys have other people that actually eat cyclist like me for breakfast and Friedman for desert to search out and test? Oh oh right that would take a little more work that just walking out of the USADA office and testing some guy that less than 500 meters away? I mean that test Creed, Friedman, and Huff so much that the official pretty much no our cell numbers by heart. Creed has stated that they just keep coming to his place because Amy makes good coffee? The only thing that getting tested this much is good for is…..making me extremely paranoid of just about everything. It will be just my luck that some stupid thing I eat or drink has be wrongfully tainted by something? next time USADA comes we should have a bunch of empty EPO bottles, hGh vials, couple lines of cocaine still on our table, 3 dirty hookers, one mule, strange bottle with oriental writing on it, couple dirty needles, three roach butts with one still in the clip, a Multi-Vitamin bottle, half used bottle of propecia, contraceptives, a pot of coffee if they want some, and old pizza. Then state that the only supplement I have used in the last 3 days is a Multi-Vitamin……………..”oh wait, can dirty hookers show up on a drug test?”
September 25th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Actually, dirty hookers CAN show up on some tests.
September 25th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
does propecia lead to a positive test?
September 25th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Let’s hope there’s nothing “special” in those brownies Steph made you…
p.s. if you don’t come by to pick them up ASAP I’m going to eat them all!
September 25th, 2006 at 6:47 pm
How in tarnation do you know what “three roach butts with one still in the clip” means? Our little boy is all grown up. Sniff sniff…
I do remember the first time you were tested and you loved it. Now I suppose it is getting a bit routine and paranoia producing. The man is hunting the hot shoe.
September 25th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Let your yes be yes, and your no, no. Sgt Friday just wanted the facts, Mam! Nothing persoal. Thank you.
September 26th, 2006 at 7:53 am
I have a mule if you need it, and I probably could still get a hold of some crabby women that I knew before I got married.
September 26th, 2006 at 11:49 am
Uhh! you just described my apartment from about 1985 - 1992, minus the epo.
September 26th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Those people also have the “gov employee syndrome”?!
In any case, I got your reqest. I’ll do my best (time wise!!).
“Be Patient!!” Being tested is a part of your “job.” I know it’s STILL pain in the (where?!), though….
September 26th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Woo-hoo~~~!! You’ve got a leadout man!!
“The team has also signed on Kilian Patour, 24, who will act as a leadout man for Brad Huff.”
September 26th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Wow, you describe it like your here…
September 27th, 2006 at 7:12 am
Just part of being a clean athlete I suppose. How about no even still competing and being test 2 times this year? Trust me, it is worth all the hundreds if not thousands of tests to catch 1 person not willing to participate in the clean sport initiative. Just make sure to keep WELL hydrated and your test will be done and over in 15 min tops - that is once you memorize the paperwork!